TONT 42613 不关心准确性的话,写专栏就简单多了

首先是一个谬误,然后就只剩下谬误。

原文链接:https://blogs.msdn.microsoft.com/oldnewthing/20030908-00/?p=42613

Now that Longhorn Rumor Season seems to have kicked up, I’m reminded of Windows 95 Rumor Season. The great thing about writing a rumors column is that you don’t have to be right! Even if you’re wrong, you can just say, “Well, Microsoft changed it before they shipped,” and nobody can say you were wrong. It’s a victimless crime! The only victim is Microsoft!

既然Longhorn笑话季已经开始了,这让我想起了之前的Windows 95笑话季。撰写笑话专栏的一大好处就是——不用考虑正确性!就算偶尔被人揪了小辫子,也可以辩解:『哎呀,微软正式发布产品之前把这个改掉了』,然后也没有人能证明你说的不正确。这分明就是无受害人的犯罪嘛!(但实际上)唯一的受害者只有微软而已!

Here’s a classic example from early 1995:

以下是一则1995年的经典例子:

Notes from the Field(战地笔记)

Microsoft’s latest security scheme could leave users of Windows 95 dongling

微软最新的安全体系将Windows 95用户绑在加密狗上

BY ROBERT X. CRINGELY

One thing that will be pretty darned hard to steal, come Aug. 24, is a renegade copy of Windows 95. Just before heading to the DMV, I heard that the kids in Redmond plan to cut Win95 piracy to zilch by requiring the use of a dongle. Yes, a dongle.

8月24日之后,有些东西将会变得极难窃取,比如一份盗版的Windows 95。就在我启程去DMV(译注:我也不知道这是哪)之前,我听说了一则消息:Redmond的那些小子们(译注:指微软公司的工作人员,Redmond是微软公司总部所在地)准备用一招解决Win95的盗版问题——用加密狗。对,加密狗。

Just in case you’ve led a charmed or boring life, a dongle is a thingamajig that plugs into one of your PC I/O ports. One dongle is shipped for each copy of the OS and the software won’t work if it can’t detect the proper dongle.

以防你不知道还是说明一下(译注:第一个分句我译不出来……望知晓者不吝赐教),加密狗指的是插在你电脑的I/O端口上的一个玩意儿。每份操作系统副本都会随一只加密狗一同出售,而没有检测到正确的加密狗的话,软件是不会工作的。

The upshot of this plan is that you can load as many copies of Win95 as you like, but only the machine with the dongle will work.

这样做的目的是,你可以爱装多少份Win95的副本都可以,但只有安装了加密狗的那台机器能正常使用。

Now the requisite qualifiers, pre-paid backpedaling, and so on: I believe this information to be true, but I have it from only one source, so it should be classified as a rumor. Microsoft could change its mind on the dongle security strategy tomorrow.

至于那些要求真实性证明、要我做出承诺保证消息正确的人,我想说的是:我相信这则消息是正确的,但我只有一个消息来源,所以还是将其视为一则小幽默为佳。说到底,微软就是睡一觉起来就改变这种做法也没什么奇怪的。

Emphasis mine. And the great thing is, if the story turns out untrue, you can even take credit for it! “Thanks to public uproar over my amazing scoop, Microsoft changed their mind and decided not to do this thing” (that they weren’t planning on doing anyway).

诸如此类的消息使我印象深刻。更可喜的是,像这种消息如果后来被证伪了,甚至还能为撰文者带来额外的名誉呢!——『感谢大家为我深挖出来的消息摇旗呐喊,现在微软改变主意,不准备那么做了』(虽然原本就是没有的事)。

It’s very frustrating reading rampant bogus rumors about your product and not being able to do anything about it.

阅读这种针对你的产品毫无根据、胡编瞎造的“小幽默”令人十分沮丧,尤其在你对此做不了什么的情况下。

So remember, all you Lonhorn rumor-consumers: Just because you saw it in the newspaper doesn’t mean that it’s true.

所以请喜欢看Lonhorn(译注:大概应该是Longhorn(Windows Vista测试版的代号)的误植)幽默集锦的各位记住:不能仅仅因为这种东西是登在报纸上的,就相信它是真的(译注:上文中的那则消息登载于《InfoWorld》1995年7月3日的第78页上,文献链接在此(需搬梯子))。

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